Response to Charges
Filed Against Rev. Dr. David H. Benke
November 12, 2001 and November 28, 2001
David H. Benke
January 4, 2002

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(Continued from page 1)

Atlantic District churches convened thousands of worshipers in prayer. I prayed with God's people at St. Peter's in Brooklyn, which can be reached from my house without crossing a bridge.

I finally found during the day that Pastor Wrede was home and OK, which was a tremendous relief, since I had sent him into Manhattan. He told me what had happened to him, and I listened with awe at the power of God in the midst of horror as Pastor Wrede recounted his ministry of anointment, placing baptismal oil on the heads of Christian firefighters before they walked into the flames, many to their deaths. I also checked in to ascertain that other Atlantic District pastors in chaplaincy - Prs. John Fleischmann with the Port Authority and Steven Unger with the FBI - were on the job. What I didn't know yet was that other Atlantic District pastors in community volunteer firefighting roles were also in Manhattan at "Ground Zero" - Pr. Mario Ancira of St. Paul in Bethpage, LI, and Pr. Kenneth Hessel of Redeemer in Old Westbury, LI. I visited Richard Ramirez and heard him tell the story of what it was like to exit Tower One and see bodies falling and lying in the esplanade; other parishioners contacted me through the day with similar stories of escape and horror, all of which are indelibly etched in their minds, and mine.

Thursday, September 13
Major contacts with institutional leaders were made during this day, including Lutheran Disaster Response leaders (Elaine Bryant was then the head of LCMS World Relief), and the ELCA Metropolitan New York Synod office, as well as Lutheran Social Services of New York. The offices of LSS-NY are only a block from the World Trade Center complex, and I found out that the entire staff had evacuated the building after a piece of an airplane engine entered the roof of their building. They were now using the Atlantic District office space in the interLutheran Center area at 474 Riverside Drive. Bishop Bouman and I resolved to meet on Monday with LSS leaders at the Riverside Drive office to begin determining how to respond to the disaster from an interLutheran perspective. We were struck by the magnitude of the task.

In sharing information, I resolved to attend a religious leadership gathering at Abyssinian Baptist church that evening. I spent the early afternoon working with Atlantic District staff, who were calling all congregations and pastors, developing prayer and visitation lists, and determining what to do in terms of ministry to our school children and teachers/administrators. More Atlantic District members and affiliated families missing in the destruction were listed through the day; I found out about the volunteer firefighter chaplains and their presence at the site. We were tremendously concerned about school families, Lutheran and non-Lutheran (eventually the total of those dead from Lutheran school families reached 47). We began to hear of the specific plight of some of our immigrant mission congregations and members, some of whom were facing discrimination and violence against them for no other reason than color of skin or accent. Missionaries contacted us, and we prayed together. In particular, our newest congregation, First United Bengali Lutheran (as I always say, not first in New York, but first in the world, since I don't think there are any other Bengali Lutheran churches), was experiencing discriminatory action in terms of job loss and immigration difficulty. One of my own parishioners was struck and knocked down by someone who called her an "Arab," even though she is of East Indian extraction from the South American country of Guyana.

Through the week, I wrote and we sent out three or four major e-mails to our Atlantic District family including basic information, disaster response initial steps, prayer lists, a suggested set of specially designated Biblical lessons for Sunday, September 16, and a sermon from one of our chaplains, John Fleischmann. We wanted maximum intercommunication. (Attachment group 12)

In the late afternoon I visited St. Peter's Church and School for an hour, ministering to school parents deeply troubled by the loss of friends, students who had lost playmates, virtually everyone had a story of some terrible lower Manhattan sight; parishioners were contacted and the decision made to gather for a prayer service on Friday evening.

In our mutual contacts with our church body heads, Bishop Bouman and I were finding that a trip to New York in the next week was possible to be arranged for both of them at the same time. There was a flurry of phone calls beginning to do the work of putting plane schedules together - this at a time when planes were only beginning to be airborne again.

The gathering at Abyssinian Baptist Church, a historic parish in Harlem served by Dr. Calvin Butts, ended with a time of prayer and reflection. I attended and sat in the congregation. At the end of the service, I shared words from my seat; I concluded by reading verse one of TLH Hymn 399, "Thee Will I Love, My Strength, My Tower." After the service, I was informed that the mayor had called for religious leaders to gather at Cardinal Egan's office to prepare for the visit of President Bush and for a special event to be held in the near future. The religious leader response committee, I was told, had been formed that afternoon.

Friday, September 14
In the early morning I began phone and email conversation with people from the area and around the country, particularly in terms of organizing the Disaster Response and in terms of contacting District pastors and our tempest-tossed missionaries to offer consolation and prayer; this was also the main direction of Atlantic District staff involvement that first week. Beyond outreach to the families of those missing, parish and pastoral concerns included ongoing prayer services attended by hundreds at many District locations, loads of individual counseling because of the tremendous fear and anxiety surrounding the potential for more attacks, and just adjusting to the difficulties of moving around in the metropolitan area. And - literally millions of people were trying to tell their stories to one another - the pastoral task was, and remains, to bring the story of Jesus and his love into those stories.

We were also receiving many requests of assistance from around the country. Some of these were legitimate, others were "off the wall." I had to handle several personally. A particularly insistent person from the Midwest got through to me on that Friday about every hour on the hour through the day. I found the process of discernment to be both difficult and distracting. We needed to get our Disaster Response team in place in short order.

I got to the meeting at Cardinal Egan's; there were large security forces surrounding the mansion on Madison Avenue. The gathered group was convened by Mayor Giuliani's assistant, Rudy Washington, and attended by former mayors Koch and Dinkins, along with the Parks Commissioner, Henry Stern. The rest in attendance beside cardinal Egan were Protestant, Muslim and Jewish leaders. The discussion centered around a million person event to be held in a park on Sunday, September 23, for the purpose of civic healing. The Mayor was inviting religious leaders to attend and participate, and the former mayors were serving as his ambassadors. After some debate, the park chosen was Central Park, and decisions on religious participants were left up to the various faith groups. The rest of the group then left to go to "Ground Zero" to stand behind President Bush, who was coming that afternoon. I was not allowed to go because on the prior day I had not gone through an FBI clearance.

Bishop Bouman and I then spent an hour together discussing our interLutheran plans for Disaster Response. We were both convinced that in order for us to bring an impact to the services of God's Lutheran people in responding we would have to hit the ground running, and most importantly, we would have to assume personal leadership of the effort.

On Friday evening, a goodly number of people from church and community gathered at St. Peter's to pray and share for several hours. Many were first time attendees who had not been in a church in a long time. The Biblical text chosen for reflection was Psalm 46. It spoke directly to the hearts of all present.

Saturday, September 15
On this day, staff and I began to prepare an outline of programs and needs collated from the various agencies and our own assessment for the Disaster Response, and to put this in written form. Contacts and calls continued to be made by staff with pastors and people from the Hudson Valley to the end of Long Island; I was kept in that loop through the day. Pastor Frank Ciampa of Good Shepherd Lutheran in Brooklyn found out that his National Guard unit had been called up and that he was needed as an Army Reserve Chaplain at Ground Zero. He joined the very strong LCMS Ground Zero chaplain corps.

I spent a half-day in the afternoon in Brooklyn. The School Director had suffered an emotional breakdown after toughing it out in front of students, parents and staff for the entire week. We prayed and shared together. The bulletins were prepared in a last-second way, and calls were received from a number of parishioners and community residents who had been working in or near the Trade Center complex and had escaped. I determined to make prayers for those people and testimonies from those people a special part of the Sunday service of Holy Communion in both English and Spanish gatherings. People came by to share their stories. I spent a half hour practicing the organ, since it was by some cosmic mistake going to be my first Sunday as the (semi-permanent) fill-in organist.

It was becoming apparent that both Dr. Kieschnick and Bishop Anderson could be in town the next Tuesday evening through Wednesday evening, and that the visit could be coordinated with the interLutheran Disaster Response leaders, Elaine Bryant and Gil Furst. The Atlantic District and ELCA Metro Synod staffs began figuring out how the day would shape up. Everyone from outside the area wanted to visit the site of devastation. I had been in phone contact with Rev. Steve Unger, the FBI Chaplain to find out how he was doing. When I mentioned the possibility of a visit from our national leaders, he said, "Let me call you back in five minutes." He did, and in that time had organized a trip for seven of us including himself under the auspices of the FBI.

On this day I sent out two letters to pastors and leaders in the Atlantic District (attached in group 12). One of them concerned Dr. Kieschnick's visit and the event planned for September 23. These are my words regarding the September 23 event:

"On Sunday, September 23, 20001, at 3:00 PM there will be a very special observance in Central Park (with simulcast broadcasts at other locations). It is planned that President Bush, Governor Pataki, and Mayor Giuliani will be present, and that various religious leaders from all major traditions will offer words of encouragement and unity. I view this as an opportunity for LCMS Lutherans to show the kind of civic unity and pride which are so desperately needed at this time, as well as to mirror the Gospel of Christ in love and action. May the Lord bless you as you participate in these activities!"

Sunday, September 16
This was a day primarily set aside for pastoral ministry in the parish, although contacts throughout the day and evening were made with other pastors in the area and on the internet to organize the September 19 event - the decision had been made over the weekend to bring all available pastors and laity together on September 19 for counsel, reflection and prayer across the Lutheran lines, since both church body leaders would be in town and at "Ground Zero" together.

St. Peter's Divine Services in English and Spanish were particularly uplifting; during the first service, Richard Ramirez described what it was like leading two hundred people down from the twenty-first floor of Tower One on September 11. (attachment 13) During the second service in Spanish, his father Gilbert described what it was like to see him alive and to take him home to his mother on that same afternoon.

Monday, September 17
A major portion of the day was spent in meetings regarding the approach to interLutheran Disaster Response, with our two staffs and leaders and our lead social service agency, LSS-NY. Several things were clear right from the start. Disaster Response would be

1. Churchly. This had to be The Church at Ground Zero
2. Inclusive of all the baptized. We stated even then - "we were baptized for a time such as this." The scope of the effort would be directed not only at Lutherans, but at all effected by the devastation.
3. Comprehensive. We would need to address a host of human needs including grief and burial but extending into counseling, immigration, job search and other emerging issues.
4. Long-term. We began even then to see that the ongoing nature of September 11 simply meant that our efforts and spiritual comfort and renewal would have to be there in word and deed for the long haul.

We resolved to finalize the agenda for Wednesday September 19 on the next day, when our staffs would gather together on Riverside Drive.

Ongoing phone calls and involvements with congregations involved in funeral preparations, counseling needs and school interventions took the rest of the day and evening, which were spent in upper Manhattan and Westchester County. There was no contact from the group organizing the September 23 program.

Tuesday, September 18
The Atlantic District and ELCA Metro Synod staffs met together for the first time at the Riverside Drive offices, and shared notes on responses to the disaster as well as plans for the day ahead, when the national church leadership would be present. The agenda was set (as well as could be expected). I could only keep in touch with parish situations and parishioner needs by phone for the first three during this week. This was particularly difficult to handle since many school children were having nightmares, and the beginnings of the effects of the stress on families was showing in the school office.

More e-mailings were sent with updates on activities and prayer needs. We decided that after a huge amount of telephone inquiries we would set up a District World Trade Center Fund. Monies began coming into it immediately, and still are - those funds are held with the national Disaster Response funds. No contact from the Mayor's September 23 event group.

Staff and myself continued long hours and suffering stress from what we were hearing and seeing so constantly. But the next day would be a day of organized ministry to our entire constituency, so we kept ourselves on the beam.

Here belongs a word of commendation to the entire Atlantic District staff. Each and all performed their ministries magnificently under tremendous pressure with great dignity and courage. They are truly God's unique blessing to the church here in New York, and to me. I love and respect them dearly, and treasure the memories of our collaboration in the time of great need.

Wednesday, September 19
This was one of the all-time long days, beginning early in the morning with preparations for our guests. Their arrival and the meetings throughout the day were of great importance to the ministry of the Gospel in the metropolitan New York area for the next several years. By day's end, Bishop Anderson, President Kieschnick, and Disaster Response Coordinators Furst and Bryant had heard what the ministry of Lutheran leaders had been for the past week, heard from an onsite chaplain what it was like to be at Ground Zero, had seen that incredible sight just a week after the disaster in all of its tragedy and splendor, had shared reflection and prayer with over a thousand Lutheran clergy and laity, and made major decisions regarding the direction and leadership of the Disaster Response effort in New York.

A book could be written on this day's experiences alone. Seeing our clergy and lay leaders face to face at a time of prayer and soul-searching may have been important for them; it was crucial for me. Spending the day with Jerry Kieschnick was good for my soul as well. Jerry and Terry spent some time with Judy and me privately, and that brought restoration and healing to both of us. Being in corporate reflection an hour after witnessing Ground Zero provided me with a chance to give my internal wounds some air, mostly not by talking, but by listening and singing. We sang "My Lord, What a Morning" that day, the Advent end-of-the-world spiritual; pastors were weeping in pain, others were numb, others were on such an adrenaline rush they were nearly jumping.

In the late evening, after the second occasion for prayer, Bishop Bouman and I sat with Gil and Elaine and crafted what would become "September 11: Comfort and Renew," the New York Disaster Response. We agreed that Steve and I would be co-chairs of the effort, down to the signing of the checks.

Suffice it to say in paraphrase of Psalm 46 - The Lord of Hosts was with us; the God of Jacob was our Refuge. There was no contact from the Mayor's office concerning September 23, nor any thought given to it on this day, which ended well after midnight.

Thursday, September 20
On this morning, after directions for our next steps as Atlantic District staff were apparent in regards to Lutheran Disaster Response, I determined to make a phone call to a Roman Catholic contact about the September 23 event. When I asked about the event in Central Park, he said, "Oh, that's ancient history. With all the security issues, it's been moved to Yankee Stadium. You'll need a ticket to get in through security. That's designed to keep attendance to those who really need to be there." I made a series of phone calls. By mid-afternoon these conversations resulted in the opportunity to participate in the program at Yankee Stadium and to offer a prayer. I stated that I would consider it after consultation. I contacted Dr. John Hiemstra, Protestant program coordinator and gave him a provisional positive response, pending process of discernment.

I tossed and turned through the night, considering a welter of different thoughts:

• My past apology
• The incredible opportunity to bring comfort and strength in Christ to those most effected by the terrorist attack
• The power of the Gospel to heal
• The character and spirit of the Synodical convention resolution concerning "once-in-a-lifetime" events, and the civic natured of this program as I knew it at the time
• The charitable spirit engendering pastoral discernment present in that resolution
• The meaning of the presence of an evangelical and orthodox Christian witness in the midst of this very diverse group of public and religious figures - and - the meaning of the absence of that witness.

During this night of reflection, I concluded that certainly the leaders of my own Atlantic District and most certainly the Synodical President would have to be in favor of my participation. Only then would my initial discernment have confirmation and the kind of approval path necessary.

This was the first day of my fall schedule of parish involvement. It involves an evening composed of confirmation class, youth group, choir and adult bible study from 6:00 to 9:15 PM. I arrived in the late afternoon and worked with some families and children regarding the nightmares and emerging family pressures. Everyone, young and old, showed up at church ready to talk about death, and life, that night.

Friday, September 21
I contacted Dr. Kieschnick early in the morning concerning my involvement in what had become the Yankee Stadium program. He asked what type of event it would be and I told him who was hosting it and how the plans had progressed under the direction of the Mayor's office. He then asked, from the wording of the Synodical convention resolution, whether there would be any restriction placed on my Christian witness. I told him that I knew of none, but that if there were, I simply wouldn't go. I also told him I intended to offer a prayer in Jesus' Name. He then affirmed my decision to participate.

I then contacted Dr. Hiemstra with that information, since he had to know on that day whether I would be participating due to FBI clearance procedures. He indicated that the timing of the event was orchestrated in such a way that prayers were limited to one minute in duration, and that the Protestants would be involved toward the end of the program. However, he affirmed that there were no restrictions on the type of prayer that could be offered. In the afternoon I called Dr. Kieschnick again to confirm his affirmation of my decision to participate. After asking the same question he had asked earlier in the day, namely, whether there would be any restriction placed on my Christian witness, he repeated his affirmation of my decision.

This day and Saturday were marked by continued conversations with the Disaster Response coordination as well as input from and contact with a great and diverse variety of pastoral and lay leadership locally and from around the country. The powerful nature of so much of the conversation, particularly with those sharing experiences from September 11, was having an effect on all of us on the Atlantic District staff, and our energies continued to be taxed to the limit. By the same token, we all continued to feel completely engaged with the ministry of the Gospel in these moments of dynamic need. What was becoming apparent is that no matter the dimension of the unfolding tragedy in terms of loss of life and dramatic escape - there were moments in congregation after congregation of profound opportunity to present the Gospel to people who had not been open to hearing it before. Pastors and missionaries carrying out their ministries in their communities were being asked as never before to take leadership roles in service and outreach.

Saturday, September 22
On this morning I wrote out the prayer I intended to offer on September 23 at Yankee Stadium, setting aside some early morning time for that purpose. The theme that had stuck in my mind was taken from the hymn, "Thee Will I Love, My Strength, My Tower." Later in the day I read the prayer to two people for their reaction, and resolved to leave it as originally written. (Attachment 14)

The day, however, was basically devoted to contacts, calls, updates, and sermon preparation. The fundamental changes in the way we were living in New York then were impacting families in a serious way, and emotions were at a pitch all around. I myself had had difficulty emotionally making it through the sermon on September 16, and found the biblical texts to be jumping out into current events and activities with enormous power. I would experience and continue to experience an emotional break in virtually every sermon since September 16; this emotionality has even involved sermon preparation in terms of contacting the text and life in a sustained internal way. Sometimes I find myself crying just reading the biblical narrative and understanding as for the first time how immensely powerful it is for all of us in New York. Maybe this is the shape that grief and depression take. Certainly this is the power of the Word in the human heart.

Plans were received for bus transportation from St. Patrick's Cathedral to Yankee Stadium; I could take the bus, but Judy, who had a ticket, had to drive and then park somewhere. This would make travel and transit once again a New York adventure. We also received a small supply of tickets that I would distribute to parishioners on Sunday morning. There was to be a "rehearsal" with all the celebrities and choirs the night before, with security checks. I couldn't go, and sent the Circuit Counselor, Rev. Dien Taylor, in my place. He indicated that the song selections and patriotic dimension of the program would be very powerful when he called late that evening. Late in the day on Saturday, President Bush proclaimed that after sunset flags would again be raised to full staff. That meant that the 23rd of September would be the first day the American flag flew high in the United States again.

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